We have a choice of two paths in life, that of the victim or the higher path as the owner.

As we Think, Feel, and Act we can be aware and choose or unconscious and give up our power.

Take the path of ownership (the one on the left on this chart), and reach your Higher Purpose!

Think-Feel-Act

Part IV of a series on Empowering Language Patterns:

Get rid of the word “TRY” in your vocabulary. “Try” pre-frames going through the motions. It gives us not only permission to fail but permission to exert efforts of far less than 100%.

Quit using the word CAN’T or add to the word can’t…“do it yet” which shifts it to the place of possibilities instead of no possibility. Ask yourself …What would happen if I could? What will happen when I do? This will shift the negative limiting belief as you visualize or imagine!

STAY AWAY FROM GENERALIZATIONS – they are all lies… “always” and “never” “hardly ever” are absolutes that only exist in our mind. Generalizations discount our belief in our personal possibilities. They also undercut our faith in humanity and the power to change and grow.

Remove the word “DON’T” from our speech patterns, because whatever happens next…

Here is an article that I want to talk about, but before you click over and read it, please be warned: I found this deeply, deeply triggering.   The author is effectively arguing that if you are happy and find community and happiness in your world, then you will no longer be an addict; that the root cause of addiction is loneliness, and once loneliness is removed, the addiction goes away.  If that’s not a perspective you feel like you can deal with today, don’t read it.  Otherwise, though, please do; it’s a fascinating article in its own right.  One of the things that really interests me is alternative approaches to drug and alcohol abuse, which legalises their use and concentrates on eradicating the pre-existing reasons why people abuse them.

The author, Johann Hari, has recently published a book about the American War on Drugs (‘Chasing the Scream’), from which…

Get rid of the word SHOULD.

Using statements like I should meditate…. solicit guilt, rebelliousness and maybe even shame…Thoughts like “Dammit why didn’t I, I was supposed to!!” soon follow. These shame and fear based thought patterns do not take you to a powerful place, but often undermine motivation and positive intentions/thinking.

Find another word that elicits better responses:

Wish – won’t motivate most people

I would like to – nope won’t bring urgency

I need to – not quite there to bring about action

I want to – getting closer to a commitment

I have to – to authoritarian for most (defensiveness and rebellion follow)

I must – sounds too desperate

I am going to – will work for some.. gives me a way out…

I will – a personal agreement is made…much closer to getting me to do it (I can visualize it and imagine myself doing…

Inner Voice Pattern – Change Strategy Number Two

Get rid of the word “BUT”

But….used in the most common way, negates the positive that came before!! (Thank you for getting the groceries, but you forgot the milk.) It stops the brain then restarts the new statement leaving the prior portion of the message unheard – alone (in the dust)….the brain moves on to what follows the but. So, only use but to turn a negative into the positive (I know you wrecked the car but at least you did not get injured).

You can substitute the word “and” & “however” for but and it minimizes the damage caused by the negation (I went shopping at the health food store and on the way home I ate a Big Mac.). Think of how that sentence would feel with the word but instead of and. This helps us be more positive, resourceful…

Look at ourselves as adult children and start paying attention to how we parent ourselves. The way we word our “inner voice” and the tone we use in this self talk will determine whether or not we listen to ourselves and do what we ask ourselves to do. Certain words build and add resources and others burn resources.

A lot of times we think through the “why” we do things or why we don’t do things … Stop using the word why !!!! When we ask ourselves why? It makes us feel like we are judging ourselves and you will usually feel defensive or rebellious….we revert to justification or excuse stories with ourselves!! It doesn’t empower us (it allows us to make excuses). Our brain like the computer it is, starts looking for answer’s the moment we pose a question. When we assign our brain to find information that it…

He died from heroin (addiction)

Phil Hoffman . . . did not die from an overdose of heroin — he died from heroin. We should stop implying that if he’d just taken the proper amount then everything would have been fine.

via Aaron Sorkin: Philip Seymour Hoffman and Drug Addiction