There is a mass of literature available on narcissism and codependency and a quick search on the internet will reveal hundreds of websites. It has become very fashionable to label and kind of self-centered behavior as narcissism and the “victim” as codependent. While there are truly many cases of this kind of emotional abuse, one must be cautious in rushing to diagnose. However, one of the best books on the subject is The Human Magnet Syndrome by Ross Rosenberg and it offers some interesting insights into why we attract the people we do. While most of the book is standard fare, describing various personality disorders and trying to ascertain why people have either narcissist or codependent tendencies, one theory he puts forward stands out.

He highlights the Continuum of Self Value in a range from minus 5 to plus 5. Minus 5 being in his words:

” A codependent who…

AA isn’t the only way to recover, but no reasonable person can say it’s ineffective.

Gabrielle Glaser has gotten another AA bashing article published and it’s getting a lot of attention. Of course she doesn’t really offer a tangible alternative.

I’m not going to write another piece rebutting it, but I’ll point you to a few relevant posts.

First, in New York magazine, Jesse Singal dismantles Glaser’s arguments.

As with any story about a complicated social-science issue, there are aspects of Glaser’s argument with which one could easily quibble. For one thing, she repeatedly conflates and switches between discussing AA, a program that, whatever one thinks about it, is clearly defined and has been studied, in one form or another, for decades, and the broader world of for-profit addiction-recovery programs, which is indeed an underregulated Wild West of snake-oil salesman offering treatments that haven’t been sufficiently tested in clinical settings…

“Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else… If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison…We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how?..

Later, p.77, it suggests with  “a helpful and forgiving spirit.”

In the 12 Steps and 12  Traditions, p.78, in reference to step 8 it suggests “why shouldn’t we start out by forgiving them, one and all?

These truncated passages from the Big Book (1)  and the 12 and 12 (3) illustrates how resentments cause relapse and that they need to by treated with the antidote of forgiveness.

We suggest also that the myriad of resentments which swirl around our minds in early recovery are also negative emotions unprocessed and thus unregulated from the…

Our “SACRED JOURNEY” – Is A Holistic (Soulistic) experience of reclamation and transformation that starts with integration of all parts of ourselves into our complete and whole soul. This approach creates ultimate health of “Heart, Mind, Body & Spirit. Taking Actions, Developing Skills, and Harnessing Mental Processes that “Make A Real Difference” in our behavior and lives. When we are congruent and honor who we truly are we own and see our highest self and align with inner wisdom to be that person one step at a time.

This is a process that can bring “Clarity” and Courage to:

• “Realize” – Where you’re at
• “Visualize” – What you really want
• “Strategize” – How to create change to get there
• “Actualize” – Your plan, step by step for better results

1. Start with the (physical), Cellular Balance builds a foundation for complete Body Balance.
2. This physical balance leads the…

A need for change?

Addiction is a chronic condition but is treated as if it was an acute disorder. Treatment has become disconnected from the longer processes of recovery. Hence is there a need to redesign “treatment” to address the reality that recovery is a long process, not something that can be treated in weeks or months? Should there be a greater focus on interpersonal and family relationships, especially as they are demonstrated to be a major reason for relapse.

Toward a new Recovery Paradigm?

What do we know about this thing called recovery?

First we have to define recovery, so let’s start with “What is recovery?”  Do we need to move from a pathology and treatment paradigm to a recovery paradigm? Although it is feasible that these paradigms could be interlinking? Or at least considered more than at present.

At present we focus almost exclusively on what…

Hi, just another pearl from the YouTube world. Not sure if I like the speed at which he speaks but I appreciate what he says about addiction.

And I found the answer to the difference between body, soul and spirit that I have been looking for. Well, the one that says the same thing that I thought so now I know this one is true ;-). And following that, the other ones are not of course…. 🙂

I am happy that I quit because it helps me find stuff easier because I just follow my hunches and bam! There it is. The fog in my mind is back (back on sugar) but the fog in my ‘aura’ for lack of a better word, is clearing up slowly and steadily.

I want: to go to bed and so does the cat. She keeps on calling me and walking me to the…