An Attitude of Gratitude: It’s Not Easy

crontheplateau's avatarCelebrate Recovery on the Plateau

thankful in touch times

In a few days many of us will join together with others and celebrate a time of connection and of giving thanks for our blessings.

Many years ago, before I started recovery, Thanksgiving was the only day of the year that I gave thanks for my blessings.  The rest of the year, I lived in the world of black and white, all or nothing.  I was tossed back and forth by the waves of my circumstances.  Either it was a good day, or a bad day.

I had completed the 12 Steps, and now I needed to “live a recovery program.” However, I needed some structure in order to do so (besides attending meetings and meeting with my sponsor regularly).

My sponsor suggested that I do a daily inventory.  In this inventory I wrote several things, but included in those items were:

  • How was I with others?
  • What feelings did…

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Values

I have come to believe our moral values are formed through experience as we accept ideas and beliefs as values. I also know that various external forces, some of which affected us long before we came into this life, influence and inspire our moral values. Many values can change as we gain understanding and openness, but some core values remain constant and unchanging if we are really being true to ourselves.

Many of our values come from our families and the groups we consider ourselves a part of. During our domestication as babies, toddlers, and youth our parents, grandparents, and in some cases older siblings may subject us to their moral beliefs. While we are making our way in the world it may be natural to adopt or at least live according to this family moral belief system if we want to be loved, accepted, and get what we want within the family system. As we accept these family beliefs as truths we may make them our values also. Being labeled as good or bad within this family system may very well be based off of compliance to the norms or moral values of the family. In many instances these beliefs or values have been passed down for several generations as family tradition and pressure to comply often is great.

Similarly to the family system of implied moral values, most groups whether they be religious, cultural, or affiliated have a system of beliefs, and part of membership is the expectations to live by those norms. For this reason many moral beliefs are inherited or adopted through membership. Since these moral values where inherited, many times a duality in between the way one lives publicly and privately will show which morals are truly and deeply believed. There obviously are times when a person does not live up to values that they really do espouse due to other pressures and or issues. Having a moral compass does not mean we are always right on the trail.

I wish to explain my belief that many values we have are innate. I believe our spirit or soul comes into this life knowing what morals are right or wrong for lack of better terms. I prefer the terms light or dark myself because so many moral beliefs can be in the grey area and really need to be a personal decision. I also believe we can feel what is right or wrong not based on some dogma but based on feelings of the heart, insights of the mind, and inspiration from the universe. I don’t know if it’s that important if we believe that those external forces of inspiration come from a higher power, God, Creator, Jesus Christ, Buddha, nature, the universe, or the cosmos. What I think is important is that we learn to recognize that inspiration and come to trust it as something larger and truer than our own understandings. As we turn more towards light and transform to a point of allowing these insights and inspirations to guide us towards doing what is good, noble, and true we will let go of a bit of those domesticated moral beliefs and be more open to learning that most morals are not black and white.

Moral Values to be accepted, shown, and lived need to be believed in your heart of hearts. This only happens when we deeply learn and honor such beliefs. Since we are far from perfect all sets of moral values need to include forgiveness of self and others as being important, since even when deeply felt and believed all values are difficult to live by. It may be hard to walk our talk and truly live by what we believe. Even though certain values may make us rise to the occasion to meet expectations, if our values are truly ours, we will to a high degree succeed at living by them.

Drug and Alcohol Statisitics

Self Help Survival's avatarSelf Help Survival

Drug and Alcohol Statistics

Addiction-of-Illicit-Drugs-among-teens

Addiction Place is a site that provides personal stories and informational articles about addiction and self help resources.  Addiction has become an epidemic in the United States and in the world.  

The National Institute of Drug Abuse has reported that in October of 2014, there was a three time fold in the number of overdoses from the year 2011.  In October of 2014, it was also reported that in fatal automobile accidents, 1 out of 3 drivers were under the influence of some type of drug.  Abuse of tobacco, alcohol, and illicit drugs is costly to our Nation, exacting over $600 billion annually in costs related to crime, lost work productivity and healthcare. 

These are staggering statistics that are continuing to rise with the number of new drugs being developed by the day and that are being imported to the country from different places in…

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A Loving Higher Power

I read an article today about Hurricane Katrina that bothered me. I do not believe the 2005 Hurricane Katrina was a punishment sent from God or any other higher power. I do not believe in a punishing God. It is hard for those that believe in a God to understand and explain why bad things happen to good people. It is also a point taken by those that are atheist or agnostic, that there cannot be a God that would allow so much evil in the world.

I believe that evil or bad things are caused by several things. One is that we ourselves can cause things to occur that are not necessarily what we want in our lives and the lives of others. Second others can do harm to us, themselves, and to others. The third cause I think is best described by universal laws of nature that have cause and effect. that must be followed. (i.e. If I grab onto a downed arching high voltage electrical line in the middle of a rain storm I may be electrified.)

These universal laws of nature or the universe have to be followed by all, even God. Now I believe God is omnipotent and understands these universal laws and can manipulate them but that he allows us all to have agency or freedom and chooses not to intervene in our lives the majority of the time. Like the laws of physics these laws govern the universe.

Storms, Hurricane’s, Tornado’s, and other natural calamity’s all have scientific explanations as to what caused them or how they occurred. Man continues to cause all kinds of travesties to themselves and others. If one believes in the Bible it could be argued that God has sent pestilences, disasters, and all manner of bad things to punish the wicked, but I choose to believe that is a rare or almost extinct practice. I believe God has the power to punish in that way but takes a more loving and forgiving approach most of the time.

Man continues to cause most atrocities. If we look at wars and other evils and how they came about I believe the majority of the time we can trace the source to a person or group of people. It is amazing the damage we even do to ourselves. I work in the addiction field and I watch the carnage and death inflicted by the disease of addiction every day. In spite of good intentions people loose their free agency to rationally choose what is good and right for themselves and others. Yes it is within them to take back the power, dig deep, overcome, and reclaim themselves as they gain ownership of their life and responsibilities again but for most part this is very difficult. The greatest tragedies in history are cases of men’s inhumanity to men. I feel it is wrong when people make the assumption that people deserve this inhumanity and the pain it causes as some sort of punishment or karmic pay back.

I can look at all the difficult and painful trials I have gone through and clearly see which ones I brought upon myself, those that were caused by others, and the trials that the universe presented as learning experiences. Now maybe God put those in my life. I don’t know? Maybe I could frame those as punishments, since I have been far from righteous, but I doubt it.

Good things come to those that may not deserve it, just as bad things happen to good people. Maybe its timing, maybe it is meant to be, but I believe most of the time there is a direct correlation from a causation by a person/group/entity, or a natural law of nature following its course.